Doug Hannah “The Conversation That Never Happenned”

Ministry leaders talk a lot about honest conversations. Pep talks, leadership summits, culture statements: candor and accountability get preached often.

What I have seen goes more like this: a manager becomes unhappy with somebody’s work or attitude. They’re not meeting expectations (were they clear, or only to the manager?) Or their behavior has become a problem. Maybe they’ve damaged trust.

Whatever it is, it’s gotta change.

So the employee needs to hear that, right?

Not through a vibe shift or a coolness in tone or less warmth in meetings or invitations drying up. Not because the frustration built up until it broke containment.

They need to hear 4 things, clearly:

1. Here is the problem. This is/was the expectation.
2. Here is what’s expected of you.
3. Here is how we’ll know it’s getting better.
4. Here is what happens if it doesn’t.

That’s an uncomfortable conversation because conflict is hard, and people can be fragile, feisty, or unpredictable.

Often, the conversation never really happens. Until the employee’s last day. Even then they are often told “your position is being eliminated.”

Candor is not pretending to be a “straight shooter” when you’re actually just a jerk. It’s also not developing work-arounds to avoid said employee.

The way is addressing it directly, and clearly.

Like Paul did with Peter in Galatians. Peter had started avoiding meals with Gentile believers, worried what a certain group would think of him. Seems like no big whoop, but Paul knew it was affecting how an entire congregation understood the Gospel. Galatians says Paul opposed Peter to his face.

To his face.

Peter was exhibiting problem behavior, and heard about it from Paul, directly, while something could still be done about it.

Most conversations in a radio ministry aren’t at that level. Somebody misses deadlines, or their show isn’t improving or their production work is not up to the standard. Or, a manager has lost confidence in their judgment or attitude, and it’s affecting the team.

The principle still holds.

One of the saddest things anyone in ministry can say after losing a job is: “I had no idea this was coming.”

Barring biblical, legal, or policy misconduct that demands immediate action, that sentence should bother us.

And the burden of proof on what led to the event is on the manager. The meetings to address it and the follow-up emails out of them should have already happened. It really should be open and shut. This is a ministry, not a bootstrapped business venture.

It isn’t only the employee who pays for our penchant for conflict avoidance. The whole staff learns eventually that problems just don’t get addressed here. They detonate.

If somebody’s nearing the end of the road in your ministry, they ought to know that, and be told clearly how to do a U-turn.

If we take Jesus’s definition of neighbor in Luke 10 seriously, our employees qualify. Neighbors don’t get left in the dark about something as impactful as losing their job, unless incontrovertibly necessary.

We should tell the truth, and if needed, give the chance to repent, change, improve, explain, or tell us something we needed to hear.

Say the thing. Name the behavior, not the character: “you’ve missed three deadlines,” not “you’re unreliable.”

Say it while the person can still do something about it.

Doug Hannah is a 40+ year veteran radio programmer, strategist, and air personality, currently heard on Christian radio across North America, including SiriusXM “The Message” and “Y2Kountry”. His podcast can be found at anchoredinchrist.org